I'm not Wooster!
by The Little Nut
Summary: 'To think we ended up like this because I said, "I'm not Wooster"…' was his last thought before he succumbed. Slight MuraYuu. WolfYuu. Two-shot by demand!


**Disclaimer**: Kyou Kara Maou or its characters do not belong to me. Jeeves and Wooster are the fabulous characters of P. G. Wodehouse, my favorite novelist. I only own this humble plot which I hope you may enjoy even a little bit.

* * *

It was evening in Saitama prefecture, Japan, when the crowd near the local mall had the chance to witness the spectacle of two boys getting thrown out of a bookstore ignominiously. The shopkeeper even threw a book smack between one boy's eyes as a consolation gift for never coming back there. The other boy, who was spectacle-clad, quietly slinked into the crowd gathered around them, as the former nursed his wound.

Rubbing his sore forehead, the boy who was hit said, "You know this is all your fault Murata." while turning back to where his friend was supposed to be. Instead, he came face-to-face, no- knees-to-face with a little teary-eyed kid.

"How it my fault? It NO MY FAULT!" the kid wailed.

"Shibuya! What are you doing? Come here!" hissed a voice from his left. Snapping out of his daze, the boy known as Shibuya Yuuri Harajuku Fuuri mumbled a quick apology to who he assumed were kid-Murata's parents and ran behind the actual Murata.

'_Damn that Murata! He went too far this time._' Yuuri thought angrily. He looked ahead at the spindly running legs of his friend and clenched the book in his hand, contemplating whether he should do the same thing to Murata what the shopkeeper did to him. Before he could decide though, Murata jerked to a stop and Yuuri crashed onto his back. They tumbled together into the fountain ahead of them. Today, Yuuri can swear that Murata had planned for that to happen because the next thing he knew, they were in Shin Makoku and Murata had already made his escape to Shinou's Shrine.

"Ugh! I'm definitely gonna get back at him the next time."

"What are you mumbling about, wimp?"

"Wah! Oh… Wolfram. Nothing."

"Your Majesty, you should get out of the fountain else you'll catch a cold."

"Its Yuuri, damn it! Geez Conrad, you make me sound like a broken record every time."

Yuuri's testy response surprised everyone because it was very unusual for him to display such irritability.

"Yuuri, is there something bothering you?" asked Wolfram concernedly. Yuuri, already feeling guilty for lashing out at Conrad, replied, "Nothing, I just feel cold."

"Then perhaps you'd like to take a hot bath? Come with me Your Majesty." Tugging at his beloved king's arm, Gunther escorted him towards the Royal Bath.

"What do you think happened, Weller-kyo?"

"I don't know Wolfram. Maybe His Majesty will feel better after his bath. Lets ask him again during dinner. I must leave for the daily patrol now. Please keep His Majesty company."

"I would do that even if you didn't tell me." Wolfram grumbled lightly to himself as Conrad went away. He was about to leave too when he spotted something in the fountain. '_What is this?_' he thought. It looked like some small box. Bending down, he noticed that it was a book. He picked it up. It was paperback and green in color. There was a funny picture on it.

'_How strange. I think this must be Yuuri's. But then again, Yuuri and books?_'

Tentatively, he opened to the first page and stared intently. To any passerby, it would paint a picture of a boy completely immersed in reading but in truth, our Royal Fiancé was struggling not to just burn the book already in frustration. Perhaps, it was because he couldn't decipher even an iota of what was printed in it.

'_Damn it, and this is all soaked too._'

'_I'll just have to ask the wimp to read it out to me. How embarrassing, I'll say it is to learn about his culture. If only Gunther won't butt in._' thinking so, our sunny-haired ex-prince set off like a man on a mission towards the Royal Bath.

Meanwhile in the Royal Bath…

Yuuri dunked his head in the water. '_That was so bad! We actually got kicked out of the shop. I hope no one from school saw us._' His cheeks turned red, whether from the steam or from the mortifying recollection- we can only guess.

'_It's all Murata's fault, anyway. Why does he like to tease people so much?_' Giving out a sigh that was fit to be mistaken as a person's, who had to choose between peanut butter and cheese, he got out grudgingly and wrapped a towel around his privates.

Just in time for Wolfram's passionate entry into the Royal Bath.

"Yuuri! I didn't know you liked books. As your fiancé, I must know what kind of books you like. Read it to- why are you on the floor?"

"Wolfram, could you maybe be _a little_ discreet when you enter the room?"

Our young king had no clue how offended our prince-cum-soldier got on hearing that.

'_You want discreet? I'll give you discreet, you wimp!_'

As the Royal Prince stormed out of the bath, slamming the door behind him, Yuuri sighed again; the sigh of a person besieged with too many problems on his slender shoulders.

'_I must apologize to him also now. I didn't want to hurt him. In fact this incident with Murata made me realize-_'

"Wha- hey!"

When did Wolfram come in? And when did he pick him up over his shoulder?

"Wolfram, when did you come in? What are you doing?"

"You were taking too long. So I came _discreetly_ to carry you back to the Royal Bedroom before dinner starts."

"Alright, I get it. Put me down now. I'll walk."

"No." Yuuri wriggled vainly.

"Hey! Come on.. put me down! Wolf!"

The path to the bedroom was filled with the same banter, rehashed with new words, until they reached their destination.

Hauling Yuuri with one hand, Wolfram opened the door with the other. He went in, locked the door and then finally put his fiancé down carefully on the bed.

"Now tell me, Yuuri."

"Tell what?" he replied, still peeved at being carried like a sack of potatoes.

"There is no point in feigning ignorance. I know, as your fiancé, something's been bothering you since you arrived here. What is it?"

Yuuri contemplated stalling the subject again but one look at Wolfram's face made him realize that his betrothed was serious.

So he resigned. "It all began in a bookstore…"

* * *

"Shibuya, I'm going to browse for a few books. Wait for me, would you?"

"Sure, Murata!"

Yuuri looked around drearily. He had never liked places with too many books. And that feeling only got intensified after two years with Gunter in his library. So it was no surprise that he studiously steered clear of boring books with plain dark hardbound covers and went into the fiction section of the store.

'_This store has so many English books._' He thought. As he slowly browsed through the fiction novels, he came across a rack that was filled with colorful books from possibly the same author. Piqued, he picked up a green book (his favorite color lately *wink wink*). The cover image seemed comical. It had a man, whose head was coming out through a hole in a painting, with both his eyes pointed towards the nose. His lips twitched upwards as he thought how childish the picture was.

"W-wo-d-de-h-hou-s-se." He spelled out slowly.

"Shibuya, I didn't know you liked his books."

"Whoa! Don't scare me like that Murata." He sulked as he started picking the books that he toppled in surprise.

The shopkeeper narrowed his eyes in warning. Strike one.

"Ah, sorry Shibuya."

After helping his friend arrange the books again in the shelf, he continued.

"This is the Jeeves series. Do you like this series, Shibuya?"

"Jeeves series?"

"Ah, then this is your first time, huh? Okay, I'll tell you about it."

"The Jeeves and Wooster series by P. G. Wodehouse are popular comedy novels around the world. This series revolves around Bertie Wooster, an English gentleman who'd always land himself in a soup, and Jeeves, the wise butler who'd always come up with a subtle plan to save his master."

Then he chuckled to himself as though he were laughing at his own private joke.

"What?" Yuuri asked curiously.

"Nothing. I just realized that you and I resemble Wooster and Jeeves a lot."

"Eh? How so?"

"Well- for one, Wooster has this, what do you call, a wimpy character that Lord Bielefeld always believes you to be."

"I'm not-"

"Wait, let me finish Shibuya." Yuuri grudgingly shut up.

"Wooster always unknowingly landed himself in trouble. Now, need I say how you resemble him in that aspect?" He said cheekily.

Yuuri grit his teeth but kept quiet. As much as he'd like to deny it, he knew that Murata was right. He remembered all the times he'd landed himself in a troublesome situation in the name of adventures.

"As the Royal Sage, I had also helped you numerous times in terms of strategy and planning. Every time there is a political altercation, you rely on me to solve it for you. Just like how Wooster relies on Jeeves to solve his problems."

"Hey! I don't always come running to you."

"Seriously? You even ask me to solve your love problems. Just like Wooster."

"Wait, what love problems?"

"You know, with you fi-an-ce´. Whenever von Bielefeld is mad at you, you are always asking for my advice."

"Th-that's another matter!" Yuuri was now getting red in the ears.

"Is it really? Also I'm sure him counting you as wimp also proves my point." Yuuri's patience had reached its limits.

"I'm not a wimp! I'm nothing like Wooster. I'm not an English gentleman. You are not my butler and you don't address me as 'sir'; because we are friends. I think Wooster doesn't have love problems with men. And Jeeves probably doesn't encourage Wooster to turn gay. So can we please leave now?"

Even a pin-drop could be heard as the customers looked startled at his outburst. The shopkeeper's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, which reminded Yuuri of Gwendal.

"If you want to discuss the book, you can buy it and do so outside." He said gruffly. Strike two.

"Ah, sorry. Please excuse him. He tends to get… passionate about the books he likes." Murata said smoothly. Yuuri's face now looked like a tomato. He dragged Murata into the farthest aisle and said uneasily "Are you done here? If you're still searching for more books, I'll be waiting for you here."

But Murata was too busy drowning in Yuuri's flushed face.

'_Hmm, to think he can actually be this cute. No wonder von Bielefeld likes him._'

His gaze shifted from the innocent eyes to the slightly trembling lips. He was fighting the urge to capture them with his own when Yuuri said "I'll be waiting for you here."

His resolve snapped and he pushed himself onto Yuuri, completely devouring his lips.

* * *

"He KISSED you?!"

Wolfram was angry. No, Wolfram was _livid_. He was seething. How dare that perverted Sage kiss those lips that even he himself had not touched yet!

"But that's not where it ends. I tried to kick him but he dodged it. So I ended up kicking the bookshelf instead and then they all fell down one by one like dominoes. That was strike three. The shopkeeper _literally_ kicked us out of the store. It was so embarrassing. He said I can keep this book if I wanted it so much but I just want to throw it at Murata's face. Wolf, are you listening?"

Wolfram's head suddenly snapped towards Yuuri, as though he had just come out of some stupor.

Yuuri had never in his seventeen years of life seen a hunting lion. But at that moment, he was sure that a hunting lion must've looked like Wolfram as he is now. Like a deadly predator, Wolfram stalked towards him.

"Oi, Wolf. Are you okay? Ack!"

Trapping Yuuri between his arms, he stared down into the magnificent eyes of his fiancé. There he saw nervousness, fear and a hint of pleasure?

"W-Wolfram, what are you do- ah!" Yuuri shivered at the feel of his hot breath caressing his earlobes.

"Sterilization." Wolfram whispered and lunged lower. His little kisses, scattered over the vast expanse of Yuuri's neck, slowly rendered Yuuri incapable of thinking.

"W-wait Wolf, ngh!" A deep kiss sent pleasure waves surging though Yuuri's body.

"Yuuri, leave the sage to me. I'll get your revenge. Trust me, I'll NEVER let him off easily for touching you. Now relax." His hands roamed freely, exploring the unknown contours of his fiancé.

Yuuri looked up into Wolfram's deep green eyes.

'_To think we ended up like this because I said, "I'm not Wooster"…_' was his last thought before he succumbed.

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Guess what? Its my b'day today! :D :D So please gift me your priceless reviews(whether good or bad).

Thank you for taking out time to read my story.

EDIT: Elle Werner, soulxspirit125 and chocovic-chu: Thank you for your reviews. Elle and vic, you guys are right. I read this story once again and it definitely begs for a sequel. So I'm converting this to a two-shot, but the next chapter will take time.

Vic- Thank you for your wishes. :) I always learn a new japanese word from your reviews. :D


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